Listening to: Music
Reading: Fangirl/The Book Theif
I fell 104ft (40metres) down a hill with a 60% gradient on Sunday when we went on our Expedition walk.
I'm lucky- I missed hitting my head off rocks by milimetres and only staved a finger (typos may occur). Nothings broken, i'm majorly bruised.
and i refused to stop walking the rest of our 12k walk, although our instructor carried my bag for me.
not even a concussion, nothing.
but it coulda been worse.
And my birthday was.. good.
i got a few awesome presents- FOB was awesome!
Until the end of the week...
in a friendship, one person should never feel left out, picked on or walked over, right?
i'm always that person.
i had no childhood best friend, they all moved or left me for someone 'normal'
that didn't effect me, it just hurt.
so when i get a friend, my trust is strong.
i allow them to joke and laugh at my expense, half the time i'm laughing too.
but when i get punched for having a harmless joke like my 'friend' does to me all the time, i'm hurt, the trust broken.
after a week, i'll talk to you.
i want to forget whats happened, but no.
we have to openly put our feelings out there.
I hate being hurt.
i hate seeing you hurt.
I don't want to discuss what happened, i blew up, shouted at you, and walked off, after /you/ punched me for something i said as a joke.
they other person knows it was a joke.
You get to laugh at me about being straight, my relationships with people, anything about me basically.
i make a /single f*cking joke/ and you get to punch me repeatedly?
well, can you see why i blew up, let myself calm down for a week before i tried talking to you again?
you should know how hard it is for me to even start conversations with people after i fall out with them.
Me and another friend, we'd just fall back together as friends, we'd have no discussions, just a muttered 'sorry' to each other in English.
i came to IHS with no one.
the other people who came with me, they all made friends fast enough.
I struggle with that element.
I made a friend, that blossomed into a group, and i met you.
we were all each other needed, well, with our other groups, we were fine.
now, when we fall out, you have them, and no one in our other group can see anything different.
other than the fact that the pink haired girl isnt so loud.
i might be 'the last good thing about this part of town' to you,
but i don't have that after you've gone off.
can't we actually restart?
i have to go tidy my room now.